Daily Joy Log

I know you’ve all been there before and it isn’t funny.

You’ve got a little something.  A strange virus, a weird mole, a cough that sounds a little suspicious, a crusty thing on your arm, whatever.

You don’t want to run to the doctor because it’s probably nothing right?

You wait and you stew over the whatever it is.  You start making up stories in your head like maybe I’ve got lung cancer, or it’s a tumor, or what if I have to have half of my arm cut off?

If we would only go to the doctor and have it checked out we wouldn’t have to make up stories.

I went to the dermatologist yesterday because I’ve had this little weird piece of skin sitting under my eye for about six months.

I was looking at it every day with my XXX magnifying glass with the zoom lens to see if anything new was happening. Every day I’d say, hmm… ”I think it looks different, it’s getting bigger I know it. Oh no, what if it’s cancer and the doctor has to remove my whole eye socket?’

I can breathe now because the doctor said he thinks it’s just a seborrheic keratosis. Of course we’ll know for sure when the results come back from the lab. If it is something, I’ll really have to dig deep down inside to stay joyful, but I know I can do it.

I must say, I look rather cute with my band aid stretched across my face.

I’m hoping when I take it off I don’t have a crater under my eye. If I do, I will smile and schmear it with some cream and remind myself that I don’t have cancer.

I was the girl who laid in the sun 6 hours a day. My mother would tell me that I looked like shoe leather.

If I get through this life with sun spots, a keratosis or two and no skin cancer, I will be most grateful.

Yesterday on Facebook I said I finally put myself before the oil change and went to the doctor. It’s true. The dogs teeth, the car, the lawn, they almost always come first. We must value ourselves more. Please take care of yourself, it will bring you, me, and those who love you great joy.

The only reason I’m writing this blog today is because I am able to write it on my deck while sitting in the sun. I’m not sure I would have gotten anything written if I had to go into the office. Thank you Toshiba for creating the laptop.

For me, after a long dreary winter the first few beautiful warm days are so exciting. I can’t get myself to do anything but appreciate the wonderful day. I’d like to rake or clean up the debris from the winter. Nope. I’d like to trim the trees that are hanging to the ground. Nope. I just need to observe and appreciate if for a few days before I can actually start being a part of it. I need to be separate of it to really see it. Are you with me?

This morning I laid on my deck, Ken stretched out on one side of me and my dog Frito stretched out on the other side of me. I listened to the birds chirping in 14 different languages. I said hello to the three little flowers in my yard that were waving at me, “Yoo Hoo-Look at us-we Made it!”  “Aren’t we Beautiful?” I answered, “Yes, you are!”

I thanked God for the glorious sunshine. I was in a complete state of joy just appreciating the moment of what was. No thoughts of what I will do today, no thoughts of what time it was, no pressures put upon myself to get the dishes done, make the bed, or get myself  in gear to go hiking. I just laid there appreciating the glorious moment.

I suggest you try it today. Stop talking, put down the cell phone, don’t worry about what you need to do and turn off the brain for just 10 or 15 minutes.  Lay on the ground in the glorious sunshine and just be in the moment. Take notice of the wind, the sun, the sounds, the smells and SMILE a  HUGE SMILE of JOY!