The other day my wife and I decided to go hiking at the mall. We started up the escalator and I knew I would be cutting it loose but I made the decision to take a chance and not go back to the car. You see, this is the largest mall in the area. Not only are there no outlets for the purchase of anti-gas remedies, but the restrooms are few, far between, and overused.

Part way across the mall, I noticed my gas gauge had moved drastically and the gas pains had already come on. We still had a 30 minute walk back to the car and there were no gas relief stations anywhere near us. We kept going and I kept thinking……”This is not good, I hope I can make it.”

We had a lovely hike to one end of the mall and then started to walk back with me having a full gas tank, the line above the limit and the urges nagging at me.

I remembered that there was one store that had a decent public restroom. No problem, I’d relieve some gas there. I knew I could make it to that store. La,la, la, di da, I got to the restroom but it was closed for maintenance so we just kept on going. You’d think we would have gone to the mall’s public restroom. Oh no, not me, I just kept on going because that place is disgusting. Why not live dangerously right?

Luckily, I got to the next exit and stepped outside for some relief. Most of the walk back to the car was tolerable. I coasted as much as I could and kept my sphincter off of the gas peddle. The people walking behind us weren’t too thrilled with our speed or the occasional toots of my horn but I was trying to conserve every release of gas that I had. By this time, the gas pains had been on for about an hour, the bloat was way above capacity and my wife and I got very quiet. I think I was holding my breath thinking that this might help me hold onto the gas that was left. Besides, I didn’t want to smell it.

I could feel a bit of panic coming on.

This is when I contacted the Gas Fairies!

I started talking to the Gas Fairies. “Please little gas fairies, get us down the escalator and back to my car, I promise I won’t eat double-pepperoni pizza with onions and green peppers ever again.” I could hear their voices yelling back at me, “Oh sure, you’ve said that before and here you are again.”

I said, “No, really, I mean it this time. I promise that at the very least, I won’t go to the mall after eating it. I never want to be this gassy in public ever again, just get us down off of this escalator, into the car, and back on the parkway.”
I could feel the fairies looking at me with disdain.

Believe it or not, we made it back to the car and I pulled into the gas station. I was so thankful and joyous to get my hands on some gas relief medication. It would not have been a happy scene if I had farted upon every step in the mall. I really didn’t want to hear “I told you so from my dear wife.” As nice as she is, her tolerance for the pizza far exceeds mine and, after all, she had warned me.

Since that episode I’m trying to be more mindful of what I eat and how it affects my gas gauge. I also try to relieve myself in open spaces and not let myself get so bloated. After all, I promised the gas fairies. They were nice enough to save me this time. The next time I’m in trouble I may not be so lucky.

Remember, said the gas fairies, attempting to hold your gas in public could damage your fuel pump. Yeah, I heard the same thing once about driving your car on empty.

The erstwhile white birch sapling, after recovering from her disgust, had a great epiphany. The Universe had just anointed her with bird poop as a sign that she was too humble. Rather, she needed self-recognition, a well-deserved pat of her own back for her tennis prowess.

So, now when someone asks if she plays tennis, she will pick only one of the following answers.

1. Yes I do. I’m a pretty decent recreational player. Perhaps we can make a play date.
2. Yes, I enjoy it whenever I can. Do you play tennis too?
3. Yes I do and I’ll kick your butt.

I am amazed at how self-absorbed we tend to be, how full of ego. The littlest of occurrences cannot be taken at face value. Instead they always beg the question “Why did this happen to me?”. And, the answer needs to provide affirmation of our self-importance. Thanks little bird for the message!

I prefer to believe that the bird’s excremental incident is a sign from the Universe that says “When you gotta go, you gotta go” rather than evidence that the Universe no longer considers humility a virtue and the humble shall be pooped on.

There certainly is joy to be had from the things we do on a daily basis. I love cleaning my house (most of the time). I too, love coffee brewing and sharing a cup with my husband in the morning. I just gave my dog a bath yesterday and it makes me so happy to see him clean and brushed. Taking a walk with my hubby downtown in the evening is one of my favorite things to do.

Like you, it doesn’t take much for me to be happy. It’s a state of mind for sure and I find joy in the small things that are all around me every day. On the other hand, I feel like there is so much to experience in life.

If you have a LONGING and DEEP desire to do something and you aren’t allowing yourself to do it because of this, that and the other, you are robbing yourself of true joy. I just met a girl who has wanted to go to a roller derby convention for years. She wouldn’t allow herself to do it. She found reason after reason not to go even though she was dying to. She finally said, that’s it….I’m going, and she is off to Las Vegas this month to her Roller Derby Convention. I could see that this was a dream of hers and it lit her up just talking about it. She can’t wait to go….it’s a dream come true and she was proud of herself for finally allowing herself to have the experience. In the big scheme of things, what is she giving up by going? Giving up time and money of course but she’s ok with that. What is she getting? The experience of being at a Roller Derby Convention for a week which thrills her to death, meeting new people who are as excited as she is about roller derby,traveling to a new place, coming away with new ideas, making new friends, I would imagine a lot of laughter and joy, and the feeling of stretching herself into the unknown territory of doing something challenging and new. For her, this is worth doing. For someone else….maybe not.
What it boils down to is….discover your own happiness and enjoy your life.

I think maybe the truly happy people find enjoyment and contentment in what others find to be mundane. While their work (employment or other activity that supports the ability to do most everything else) may not appear particularly enjoyable, they take pleasure in the perhaps simple (or not) accomplishments or the relationships they develop with co-workers, suppliers, or customers. Maybe they just enjoy applying their skills and feel good about the effort they put into their work, and the contentment in knowing the monetary rewards at whatever level will support their other needs and those of their family.

Some people love to play tennis and, of course, should not deprive themselves. But, if you should be working (after all, the boss expects you to show up), cleaning (let’s not let the salmonella and e-coli run wild), or chopping a tree down (before it falls on your house), or washing windows (did the weatherman call for fog this morning, honey?), then perhaps you can find some pleasure in doing the things that need to be done and postpone your tennis play date.

There is no shame in being “Productive” or enjoying it. If we took the advice to ignore the need for productivity, perhaps there would be a lack of tennis facilities on which to play. What I realize is….enjoying as many of the things that need to be done is truly a gift to ourselves and others as well. Happiness and joy in our lives do not have to be created.

Whatever your life is, you have ample opportunity for enjoyment. Get out of the habit of denying the pleasure potential in the things that need to done just because they need to be done. Learn instead to find the fun in them. Some people feel that trying new things just for the heck of it holds a larger fun quotient than what they do in their regular routine just because it’s different. What is the point of spending your hard-earned money on a pottery class when you could be saving it for a new mower to help you enjoy mowing your lawn?

Take yourself out of your normal way of thinking and try to find the enjoyment in your routine activities that need to be done. Think about it, we wash our bodies (love that new pulsating shower-head), we wash our teeth (go find a toothpaste flavor you just can’t resist, brushing more will prevent dental problems), we curl our hair (luckily I get to skip that one too, but maybe a haircut and some straightening would be a good look for me) we make our bed (something my wife and I enjoy doing together), we make coffee (a simple activity, smells wonderful, and my wife and I enjoy drinking it together), we cook breakfast (what’s not to like, breakfast is certainly to be enjoyed), we pay bills (thankfully, we can), we walk the dog (if you don’t enjoy walking a dog, don’t have one), we get the car looked at (and proudly, we have a car), we go to the doctor (ok, not so much fun, but get yourself a doctor you like), we take care of the yard (enjoy taking care of it and you will enjoy living in it afterward as well), we go to a job or work of some kind which isn’t always fun (see an earlier paragraph) and on and on (yup, enjoy that too).

Just because they become a routine, don’t take an autopilot approach. Stop to smell the roses while you fertilize them. Yes, keeping our life all together is a big deal. Give yourself credit for all that you do in that regular daily routine of yours and reward yourself by finding the enjoyment as often as possible within the things that need to be done. If you don’t, you will be forever doomed to running from them into whatever new and different activity you can find and, regardless whether you find them to be fun or not, you will be faced with all the things that need to be done when you return. They will not go away and you will still consider yourself unhappy with your life.

Celebrate your life on a daily basis. It’s not as bad as you think! Ask Dorothy, you don’t need a trip to Oz to learn that lesson.